Why women have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause despair, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married man date.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I am sure generally though it is only the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.